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Lingering questions,
too afraid to speak.
Moments of sanity.
I was only asking.
If it made you happy.

Swirling dissatisfaction,
fragments of whispers.
Broken toys,
an abandoned game.
I was only asking,
if it made you happy.

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A spiral of fire
whispers quickly in the wind.
A boy stands down,
the bridge is falling.
You go unread,
but I’d rather fight.

I knew this would happen.
Did I?
I sat next to you,
shaking and fighting.
against a wall full of shadowy bricks.
So much writing,
so much silence.
Childs games,
generally speaking.
For you but for not.
For not but forget.
Chinese whispers.
You should feel this and that.
You should do this and that.

Imagine letting go of such caging expectations,

oh, what a thought

Upon the realization,

that I was merely a string

for you to pull along

The heaviness of a goodbye
The lightness of a suitcase
A red eye to absquatulate
the weight of feeling trapped
in a city that beguiled me into complacency.

In the back of my mind,
Stands a wall caressed in black.
Closer, sit jittery thoughts, muddled and acidic,
Like a drink served best frozen.

Huddled in the hollow, consumed by distraction.
The only weapon is my mind,
My strength yet my weakness.

Come out they cry,
But simple that is not.
Content in the abyss,
A lie pertained by me.

Everyone has a void, some wear it like a badge, some hide it like a secret.

Some cannot cope with the immensity of despair that the void leaves and try their very best to fill it.

It is human nature to not want to be alone, to want to be wanted.

But loving, which is something else entirely, cannot be truly done until you love yourself.

Others cannot complete you. Others cannot fill your void.

You can pretend they can, and lead them spiraling down into the dark with you while you dress it with kisses and lovely words.

But where does that leave you? More broken than you were before.

The darkness comes, like a wave of disbelief

I am drowning in my sorrow

The falsity you imply, hurts more than you will ever know

But I am certain at midnight it hurts you more.

The night and I were once of the same blood.

Then the night went and stabbed me in the back.